Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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