I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
