Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize