She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
