But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
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You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
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Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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