and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
