the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
