Kiss
Puke
where am i from again
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
