Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I use my feet as sexual weapons
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
