yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
