No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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