I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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