I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
