M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
