awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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