I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
