New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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