Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
