just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
