i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
