If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
