Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
