I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
