Betty ford says i'm here all night
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
