I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i may or may not be watching the land before time
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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