Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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