Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
