I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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