smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
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Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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