im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
