At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
