Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
