someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize