then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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