my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
