Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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