Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
