i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
