You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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