just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
