just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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