An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
