I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
