I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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