This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
