about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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