I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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