Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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