I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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