no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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