absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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