This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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