you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
