She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
