If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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