dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
