yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
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Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
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I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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