Got a toothbrush?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I love how my cats smell like pot.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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