yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
