it's too hot outside to masturbate.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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