actually, I'm a sock model
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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