LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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