Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
