You're completely useless in the revolution.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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