I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
