this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
