It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
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I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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