Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
