First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
