so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
