The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
