Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
